My system for de-cluttering
Today I continue a de-cluttering process that began when I filed for divorce. Over the past several years I have periodically purged my things; to move to a much smaller house; and to get rid of those things that remind me of a past I want to move on from. But today I am doing it to make room for another person in my life. My boyfriend is moving in. Terrifying , I know.
But equally as terrifying is how to go through all my emotional baggage. I find myself feeling overwhelmed. For maple, what do I do with my old wedding album? My engagement ring? Just old pictures that I look happy in (and skinnier). I hate having pictures taken of me now because of all the weight I've gained.
Anyway, there will be plenty of time to get to the hard stuff. Right now I am just going to start with a simple system. For every item, I ask myself 3 basic questions and 3 basic responses. The questions are:
1) Do I use it?
2) Do I need it?
3) Do I love it?
And the responses:
A) Dump it
B) Donate it
C) Do it
I'm sure I must have come down to these by sifting through tons of self-help books/websites or advice blogs somewhere. But here is my interpretation of them:
1) Do I use it?
This usually comes down to some kind of time frame such as "have you used it in the past X?" I'm sure there are lots of different ideas out there but my suggestion is to set your own. It may depend on the item but generally about 6 months for me. If it is something that is only meant to be used once a year or is seasonal then in the past year. There may also arise other questions about the item such as Does it work? Does it fit? If it doesn't then the answer to #1 is "No, you don't use it". Don't scrap it yet though. If it can be fixed easily then you put it in the Do it pile.
Generally if you do use the item then keep it. There may be some exceptions when you get to the next couple questions so keep going.
2) Do I need it?
Minimalism is becoming kinda trendy and I kinda like it. Not that I want to live in a tiny house or anything, although I do live in a townhouse, but I like the idea of simplifying things. We Americans tend to be too materialistic. Minimizing things makes your decisions simpler. such as your wardrobe. You don't need dozens of shoes in a rainbow of colors. I am a woman but I don't have that anyway. What we want and what we need are very different things. I start out by asking myself what things are absolutely necessary: food, water, shelter, clothing. But then what else might I need to obtain those things: A job, a car to get to my job etc. This may not even be the case for you. Good for you if you can commute to your job on your bicycle but that's not most of us.
The other question underlying is "Does this item make my life more convenient/comfortable?' I think this is important to. We need food but we don't need a toaster. However, having a toaster does make making our food more convenient. Anyway, I know some people who do get stuck on the whole "Is this absolutely necessary for life" and take it to heart and feel guilty over keeping things they actually do need to live life but isn't necessary to sustain life..
3) Do I love it?
This is my favorite one. Give yourself permission to get rid of things you don't absolutely love. I know we all keep things that we don't even like because someone important to us thought we might like it. You do have to ask yourself how it will effect your relationship with that person but it is also important to be true to yourself. Ask yourself why you feel so guilty anyway? Is it really about that ugly lamp or about how you conduct your relationship with that person. Maybe you just need to call or write to your aunt more. Maybe it really does have significant sentimental value to you. Then claim it. It IS a part of you.
Is this item really me? Or does this fit my life right now? Maybe you loved it when you got it but that was a different time. Maybe your grad school books were really important when you went to grad school but will you really ever use them again? Or maybe it is important for you to display that side of you. Then again, maybe you can resell them and get some cash. But you have to decide.
The bottom line is it's all you. And it's all your stuff and only you have to decide what to do with it. Now go do it!
But equally as terrifying is how to go through all my emotional baggage. I find myself feeling overwhelmed. For maple, what do I do with my old wedding album? My engagement ring? Just old pictures that I look happy in (and skinnier). I hate having pictures taken of me now because of all the weight I've gained.
Anyway, there will be plenty of time to get to the hard stuff. Right now I am just going to start with a simple system. For every item, I ask myself 3 basic questions and 3 basic responses. The questions are:
1) Do I use it?
2) Do I need it?
3) Do I love it?
And the responses:
A) Dump it
B) Donate it
C) Do it
I'm sure I must have come down to these by sifting through tons of self-help books/websites or advice blogs somewhere. But here is my interpretation of them:
1) Do I use it?
This usually comes down to some kind of time frame such as "have you used it in the past X?" I'm sure there are lots of different ideas out there but my suggestion is to set your own. It may depend on the item but generally about 6 months for me. If it is something that is only meant to be used once a year or is seasonal then in the past year. There may also arise other questions about the item such as Does it work? Does it fit? If it doesn't then the answer to #1 is "No, you don't use it". Don't scrap it yet though. If it can be fixed easily then you put it in the Do it pile.
Generally if you do use the item then keep it. There may be some exceptions when you get to the next couple questions so keep going.
2) Do I need it?
Minimalism is becoming kinda trendy and I kinda like it. Not that I want to live in a tiny house or anything, although I do live in a townhouse, but I like the idea of simplifying things. We Americans tend to be too materialistic. Minimizing things makes your decisions simpler. such as your wardrobe. You don't need dozens of shoes in a rainbow of colors. I am a woman but I don't have that anyway. What we want and what we need are very different things. I start out by asking myself what things are absolutely necessary: food, water, shelter, clothing. But then what else might I need to obtain those things: A job, a car to get to my job etc. This may not even be the case for you. Good for you if you can commute to your job on your bicycle but that's not most of us.
The other question underlying is "Does this item make my life more convenient/comfortable?' I think this is important to. We need food but we don't need a toaster. However, having a toaster does make making our food more convenient. Anyway, I know some people who do get stuck on the whole "Is this absolutely necessary for life" and take it to heart and feel guilty over keeping things they actually do need to live life but isn't necessary to sustain life..
3) Do I love it?
This is my favorite one. Give yourself permission to get rid of things you don't absolutely love. I know we all keep things that we don't even like because someone important to us thought we might like it. You do have to ask yourself how it will effect your relationship with that person but it is also important to be true to yourself. Ask yourself why you feel so guilty anyway? Is it really about that ugly lamp or about how you conduct your relationship with that person. Maybe you just need to call or write to your aunt more. Maybe it really does have significant sentimental value to you. Then claim it. It IS a part of you.
Is this item really me? Or does this fit my life right now? Maybe you loved it when you got it but that was a different time. Maybe your grad school books were really important when you went to grad school but will you really ever use them again? Or maybe it is important for you to display that side of you. Then again, maybe you can resell them and get some cash. But you have to decide.
The bottom line is it's all you. And it's all your stuff and only you have to decide what to do with it. Now go do it!
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